We tend to treat others based on the way we believe they perceive us. This is a very dangerous and self defeating pattern of thought. In this scenario we actually set ourselves up for defeat.
You see, these people could in fact be the answer to our prayers. They could be the ones who were sent here to help us in our time of need, foster all that we are and assist us in achieving our dreams. Those who we perceive in a negative light could in fact be those who have been assigned to us by God to assist us in achieving the realization of our ultimate potential for Being.
It’s funny how we can go on with our lives totally oblivious to the false perceptions of others. One day though God’s angels will send that one soul out of the past to bring the issues which have plagued a relationship with someone we love into the light. This is how He works to answer those daunting questions we have asked Him to answer. When we pray for guidance and clarity we will receive just that. I Am will bring out the Truth in ourselves and in those who we love.
We can’t come up with a solution until we recognize the problem. Funny, recently I was at TC training in Exeter, RI when I witnessed a deflection in progress. Often we will deflect the actual issue we have with something by creating or concentrating on a secondary excuse. In this case Bill decided to voice his despair which stemmed from a statement Joann made in regards to his smoking circle early in the day. She had walked by a handful of staff and residents who we gathered in an exterior smoking area just outside the training building. Joann shouted, “Look at all those huffer puffers.” Well Bill was very offended by this being that he is a staff and was in the mist of several residents who are fighting addictions. He immediately identified himself with the recovering addicts and became highly offended. In his mind Joann had attacked him and opened a nerve. His powerlessness against his nicotine addiction had been brought to light. The fact that he was ashamed of his need to smoke and embarrassed every time he takes a puff had been exposed.
Bill had deflected this issue during a mock encounter group meeting. Instead of coming clean about his emotions he decided to use a secondary reason. Although the reason was equally understandable it was not the true root of the issue. If we don’t get at the root the weed will continually grow back. Bill stated, “I thought it was very thoughtless of you to say that. It could have really hurt the residents.” Although this was a very admirable concern it was obvious that he was side stepping the issue. Bill is ashamed of his smoking addiction and in fact felt uncomfortable because of how Joann’s comment grouped him in with the other addicts.
I would like to clarify that addict is not a bad word. It only states that there is an addiction that one is dealing with. We all have our own addictions that we deal with every day. Some are chemical and others are psychological, but we all have them. Thank goodness the stereotypical perception of the word “addict” and one who is an “addict” is not as warped as it once was. People in recovery are just that. They are on their way back onto the path which they are intended to follow. They are that much closer to reaching their potential for Being.
In this situation Joann’s seemingly harmless statement helped Bill to get back to work. Now the issue which had been buried down deep inside him had sprouted a stem and peeked out of the ground to see the light of day. Just because he did not see the problem did not mean that it had gone away. It was just below the soil with root fully intact choking the essence of his Being. Joann’s statement just helped it to “break through” the soil of his self deceptions. If left alone it would only serve to hinder the growth of what Bill wants to grow in the garden of his life.
On the other side of the coin, there will be times when the perceptions of others will lay down more top soil over the root causing the weed to take even longer to be discovered. In this scenario we will rarely have the opportunity to witness the cause of the things which trouble us. However, one day the wind may just blow strong enough to take away the topsoil and expose the plague of weeds that strangle us.
Most recently this has happened in my own life in some relationships that I have been struggling for years to understand. I had posted a comment on my niece’s FB page which contained a link to my newest book “The Secret of Dive Intervention” stating its availability and mentioning that books make great gifts. For “Some Reason” my cousin Lisa who I have not heard from in years made a derogatory statement about me which was confirmed by my niece. I was shocked by this statement that could not be further from the essence of my Being.
Much of this stemmed from an issue that Lisa must still be dealing with. Going back to a promise that she broke back in 2004 of which she must still be feeling guilty about. You see, several years prior to my mom’s ascension to the spiritual realm of existence she had offered to let my mother be buried in our family plot. Although, I never considered this and did not even know that there were plots still available there I immediately accepted. I was really touched by this and took it as a confirmation of the strength of our relationship. A short time had passed since then and I decided to make arrangements for my mother’s funeral. She had been struggling with MS for years and I had been told by doctors several times that she was not going to make it. Mom always seemed to prove them wrong though. However, one day the inevitable did come to pass. It was then that I discovered that my relationship with Lisa was not what I thought it was. Instead of being comforted by my cousin I found myself sifting through six inched of snow looking for cemetery markers struggling to find a place for my mom’s body to rest. Although I empathized with the weakness that she exhibited and immediately forgave her for what she had done the guilt of her actions kept her from the funeral and out of the lives of myself, my wife and my children ever since. I could only speculate on the reason for her decision. No matter what they were, the consequences of the action remain the same. Only through the discovery of Truth will the healing begin.
We live in an amazing field of God’s energy. Prior to this contact with Lisa I had been discussing the circumstances which surrounded the ascension of my mother with one of my friends who is dealing with the failing health of her father. Tamara had stated that, “Death often brings out the worst in people.” Sure enough the vibrations associated with the memory of that past experience combined with the emotions of the current conversation which took place in the “NOW” traveled quickly to Lisa and bounced right back to me. The communication was facilitated via God’s wireless network.
Being knee deep in the holiday season has brought many questions that occasionally come to mind to the forefront of my thinking. Why is it that my sister and nieces have little or nothing to do with myself and my family? Why is it that the only family members in a close proximity to us rarely if ever call or visit us and when they do hardly exhibit any emotional connection? Well, come to find out it all goes back to perception. Over the years they have deflected the actual problem or issue with a secondary fabricated issue and have failed to extract the root of those issues. In a desperate act to protect their egos they have created their own false reality. It’s hard to say, but in their reality I am somewhat of a thoughtless, money hungry and unfeeling villain. In turn they make all their decisions regarding me based on this fact. Although to us it is fiction; to them it is real. Every action that I have taken over the years has been filtered and misinterpreted via the fictitious reality which they have created. Everything I do and have done for them over the years has been remanufactured into something to back up their false reality. I wrote about this quite extensively in “The Apostle’s Recipe for Happiness.”
What is the problem with this? They have lied to themselves and to others and become the victim of their fabrications. They now sit by sipping the sand adamantly believing that it will quench their thirst. They have told others these lies and gone to them for advice. In turn they have constantly received the wrong advice and continuously made the wrong decisions.
So where do we go from here? How do we fix the problem and come up with a remedy for it? The truth is we cannot do anything but pray for them to find guidance, clarity and truth. They will never be able to come up with a solution to all the issues which plague them until the day they recognize the problem. We can’t fix the door by continuously working on the window and we will never kill the weed if we fail to get at the root. Ego has accomplished its ultimate goal and continues to keep its victims from the Promise.
I’m sad to say that the perceptions of my nieces were for the most part nurtured by my sister’s lies. They are the unintentional victims in this case. Yet, one day God will reach them via His angels and they will know the Truth and the Truth will set them free.
Today I ask that you join me in praying for all who are victims of their own fabrications.
Father, we thank you for all the great works you have done in our lives. Through the hardships in this world you have strengthened us. Today I ask that you help to expose the roots of all of our issues and give us the means to extract them so that we may enjoy a healthy harvest. Continue to guide us and give us clarity in all things. Help us to release ourselves from Ego and to find Peace in Truth. We ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen!
Ron, the Father wants to free us from the opinions of others, that goes for us too.
All of us Judy.