Category Archives: Self Help

The Power of Forgiveness

There is one gift greater than forgiveness and that is the gift the forgiver receives.

There exists a wall that can defeat us if we allow it to. By dwelling on what is behind us and consuming ourselves with the emotions we have associated with, we will find our path but are unable to follow it. Scaling the wall will be a futile and an ominous journey. For as we concentrate on what is bellow we lose sight of that which is above and may never relish in the glory of what is over.

Looking back holds us back, but looking ahead will pull us forward.

The most amazing things that have ever come to me have been a result of forgiveness. As I have come to the point of “I don’t like these feelings anymore” and decided to do the opposite of what those feelings were telling me to do an inconceivable future began to unfold. Instead of staying away from family or friends I made a conscious decision to visit them with a smile. I would often show up with open arms and a smile from ear to ear with no mention of whatever it was that caused the lapse of time in which our lives were not shared.

In fact it was an instance of immediate forgiveness that brought me to all of you as I come to you all today and every day. You are all incredible, priceless and wonderful gifts. Many of what I cherish now came from how I chose to react to a betrayal that occurred several years ago. This was not the first time that this person had been dishonest with me and I am afraid to say that it also would not be the last. However, it is with the greatness of empathy that I stay the course and deliberately choose to be happy.

This Universe is an incredible place and we have so much to learn and even more to forget. I am never less surprised by the workings of this supreme matrix in which we exist. Looking back to last January I can easily recollect a single statement that set in motion a reunion that I and many of those closest to me would never imagine could have taken place.

It was on a not so seasonably cold day in January of 2009 when a mutual acquaintance of mine stopped his truck while ascending up the icy hill which bordered a property I own on route 44. I had just finished shoveling some snow from the rear of the building and making sure that the drains were all clear when he rolled down his window in a gesture to initiate a conversation that would quickly lead to the manifestation of a totally unintentional manifestation. “How have you been Ron?” he asked. “Excellent!” I replied.” I let him know that my former partner was coming back to the state. He then asked, “Is he coming back here?” I immediately replied, “Yes he is.” In this statement I was affirming that the one who had betrayed me several years earlier would return to the business. The odd thing was it hardly felt like a lie when I said it. Even stranger was that I had not spoken to him since he cast down my olive branch almost three years earlier.

The day that my forgiveness of his betrayal was disregarded rings clearly in my ears and vividly in my mind today as it did so many years earlier. You see, I had decided that I did not want to take the same twisting, turning, bumpy, and exhausting road of days gone by. I remembered the feelings of angst and heart ache. In my heart I could recall those feelings of hate and the thirst for revenge, but this time I decided I did not wish to partake in that experience ever again. I called him up immediately and said, “I don’t know why you did what you did, but whatever you reasons were I do not want to let this affect our family and friends again. For the sake of our family let’s just let it go.” His response was very negative as he spoke these simple words, “You do yours and I will do mine” as the phone line went dead and I came alive. Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful thing. On this day, at that moment and for all the moments to follow I would learn exactly how powerful it could be. Although my forgiveness was not accepted I immediately felt an incredible weight being lifted from my shoulders. It was a burden I was well familiar with from past experiences with the same person as well as with a few others. It was then that Spirit lifted me off my feet and would continue to bless me exponentially from then on.

There is either something we need to do before we move on or there is something we need to let go of before we move forward.

It was at that point when my life in Christ would be accelerated and my journey would become ordained. Signs, messages and miracles would now become a regular part of my life and my world would leap into incredible dimensions. I had been promoted to the next level in my ascension.

Funny, that one affirmation that day on the hill of Anglewood Avenue quickly manifested. Soon I found myself sitting in the customer lounge area talking to my once wayward brother in law about how incredible it was that we were sharing with each other that day. In only a few short weeks our family was restored, I turned my business over to him and I had a tenant in my almost vacant building for another year. All this occurred during prayer week at New Life Worship Center and ended with him telling me in the customer lounge area that day that “Through this he was able to find Jesus.” I will never forget the two of us standing together in the New Life sanctuary the Sunday after proclaiming our love of the Lord. Beautiful!

There is a reason for all of our situations and circumstances. Everything we experience is to build us up and bring us over the next wall or on to the next level in our infinite ascension. We must never blame ourselves for trusting a certain person or for making what we now perceive as a bad choice. There really is no way of knowing if we had acted any differently if things would have turned out better or worse and at this point in time that all has little relevance anyway. Our best choice now is to take what we have learned and move on. My cousin Michael once told me decades ago, “Often we will make mistakes in the course of our lifetimes. We must never dwell in our failures. Instead it is imperative that we learn from our mistakes and move on from them.”

The means to receiving forgiveness often rests on forgiving ourselves.

If we continue to concentrate on the mistakes that we perceive we have made we have bound ourselves in the past. Concentrating on what is behind us is the best way to keep us there. The only answer is to confess to ourselves and God, ask for forgiveness and accept that forgiveness right now. Remember, it was all for a far greater reason than any of us could fathom, but one day the Truth behind the experience will be known.

As we look to the past as being filled with purpose we can move through the now successfully and into a purposeful future continually.

There is one thing I would like to mention before I close. The most powerful thing is to forgive unconditionally; this is very true. However, when we honestly and earnestly pray for the person who has hurt us with empathy in our hearts and the seeds of forgiveness in our souls the harvest is multiplied.

Today is a new day and in this moment we can choose our experience. Happiness is a choice independent of those around us. Forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, faith, hope and love are the ingredients of All that is good and righteous. These are the keys to our Being.

I love you,

Ron Ash

The Rock of Gratitude

The Rock of Gratitude

Sometimes the most incredible things are right before our eyes. The lure of life’s distractions can so easily draw us away from the simplistic beauty integrated into our surroundings. It is, reality that is, so much larger than our illusions, so much greater than what we choose to see. It contains a Spirit that encompasses soul and has existed since the beginning; far from the existence of our own.  Standing alone and frozen in time the single witness of one thousand lines.  Why is it that we are so easily blinded by the majesty of it all?  Why is it that we treat it as if it is so small?

Everything good that is to come really does start with recognizing what is good in our lives right now.  Gratitude and appreciation for all that we have and hold is the secret to having more to be thankful for.  As we look at ourselves and those that we love we must clearly recognize the blessing they are, see the good in them and be satisfied with the special individual whom they are.

It is far too easy to look at the people in our lives and pick out all the things we don’t like about them.  Perhaps they don’t show us love the way we want to experience it?  Maybe they do some things that agitate us and cause us to pull away?  The truth is that we are who we are.  That counts for all of us.  Chances are that the one who is best for us is here for us as they are intended to be and as they are created to be.  It just may be that they were intentionally put into our lives to share our experience for a greater purpose.  When we find that our partner is extremely organized and scheduled to the point of obsession and that we are the opposite in all ways; we must consider that maybe, just maybe, we were brought together to achieve a balance in our being.  Whatever the case I guarantee there exist a far greater purpose in all that we have right now.

Remember, we are created to create and creation comes forth via our experiences.  If all things in our relationships, careers and in all the other areas of our lives were the same constantly there would be to contrast.  Without contrast there would be no experience.  Absent of experience there would be no wanting.  Wanting is a critical part of creation.

When we see in our minds what it is that we want a rift in the sea of energy in which we exist is created.  That thought creates the beginning of what will be.  As we recognize and appreciate all that we have with the utmost gratitude we become better able to concentrate on and build momentum towards the things that we will create.

By putting our creative energy into what we don’t want we constantly create more of the same.  It is our job to focus on the good in all we have in order to create the ideal vibration or frequency capable of manipulating this infinitely powerful sea of energy in order to accommodate the creation of our ideas, dreams and aspirations.

As we adopt an attitude of gratitude we will propel ourselves infinitely into higher altitudes.

This power, the magic of gratitude, is expounded upon in most spiritual writings. Gratitude is the rock which we must firmly place our foot upon in order to push off of and to propel ourselves into our dreams.  The pinnacle of this power is achieved when we acknowledge all that we have with the greatest of appreciation and relish in the emotions associated with being thankful for all that we have right now.

(Colossians 3:16 New International Version) Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

In faith always,

Ron Ash

Ears to Hear

Recently I spoke of our individual experiences here on this earthly realm of existence in my essay Let them have it. Our perceptions create our realities and because of this what is truth for one may not be truth for another. Loving, caring, feeling and wanting the best for them does not change this fact. This is their experience!

Our lives are a journey of discovery and believe it or not, prior to our conception, we chose the stage for our situations and circumstances to play out. We made a conscious decision while in the spiritual realm that we would experience everything we are experiencing right now in order to work out prior conflicts within ourselves while interacting with others. It was no spin of the roulette wheel.

Simply stated, if we believe water is fire we will never bathe. Our souls will never be cleansed and we will never discover the Truth that we all seek, but there is a reason for this. There is something within us known as the Ego of which we must conquer in order to complete what must be completed in our infinite journey of ascension. When we do we will realize that the fire is really water and we will drink, bathe and enjoy it for all that it is.

Jesus often stated, “Those who have ears to hear let them hear” and knew that at times we are not receptive to truth. The Ego has the power to blind us and make us deaf to the Truth. It is up to us to receive and allow for It to enter. We could spend hours or decades trying to get through to those that we love, but we will only create more barriers between us. The door will remained locked from the inside, furniture will be pushed up against it and soon that door may never be found by them again.

Sometimes loving is letting go. We must relinquish control and trust that when God wants those people, relationships and lives to be healed they will be. Who knows, it just may be our own Ego getting in the way of His plan. We could be the ones adding hours or even decades to their healing.

This may be the most difficult thing we may ever have to do. Our hearts will weep from the inside out. Time will pass and we will not be able to reclaim it. Yet, if we continue to push at that door the door will only push back. We will only injure ourselves by straining our hearts, souls and spirits and end up forfeiting the joy of the NOW.

“Sometimes, we have to let it all go and allow them to help themselves. It is told that even Jesus couldn’t do great miracles in his hometown. You see those who know us personally often look at us as just a family member or a friend. They really don’t connect with us in that healing sort of way. Sometimes, we have to stand aside and allow them to live the life they want to live. I am sure you have heard the saying, “If ain’t broke…don’t fix it.” Well, if people do not think they are broken, no-one will ever convince them they need fixing.

When we try to fix those who don’t feel they are broken, they just turn right around and do the exact opposite of what we want for them. Then, we are the ones who-in turn-become hurt because we begin to question our abilities and gifts.

Sometimes, when we want those people to change into what we want them to be, we end up controlling them and that is no good either. You see, each individual came to this earth to experience who they want to be. I used to think it was my responsibility to change people (including my family). But now, through many failed attempts, I realize I am here to inspire people to want change in them. People respond better to inspiration.

Just love them and hope that someone (at some time) can inspire them to want change in themselves. That is the type of change that will last forever!”

 –Michael Merritt

I had to thank Michael for this reminder. He was absolutely correct. I just wrote about exactly that last week in Let them have it on my blog but failed to see how it applied to the situation I had been struggling with. I guess it is because of the constant cries for help I receive from the person in this scenario. Bottom line is that they really only want the answers they want and mine do not fill their order. I was just feeding into what they were laying out.

It’s their experience and we must let them have it. We make our choices and live our lives in order to experience what we need for our journey and ascension. Others may not be who we want them to be, but they are Being all that they are created to be.

During the holiday season it is important for us to remember to appreciate everyone for exactly who they are. Diversity is the spice of life. Besides, who wants a bag full of the same kind of candy? There is something wonderful about everyone. Concentrate on their Gifts, relish in all that they are and appreciate with the utmost gratitude the opportunities they have given us for contrast.

In faith always,

Ron Ash

Let Them Have It

It’s their experience and we must let them have it. We make our choices and live our lives in order to experience what we need for our journey and ascension. Others may not be who we want them to be, but they are Being all that they are created to be.

During the holiday season it is important for us to remember to appreciate everyone for exactly who they are. Diversity is the spice of life. Besides, who wants a bag full of the same kind of candy? There is something wonderful about everyone. Concentrate on their Gifts, relish in all that they are and appreciate with the utmost gratitude the opportunities they have given us for contrast.

Ron’s “The Power of Respect” Review

Deborah Norville’s book “The Power of Respect” was written to exhibit the value of respect in today’s world.  It is collection of stories in which respect played a major role in creating positive situations in relationships of all kinds.  She claims that respect is the most forgotten element of success in living, playing and working with others. 

I especially liked her thoughts on the power of respect at home.  She states and backs up with real world examples of how children learn from what their parents do.  How they will deal with others will largely depend upon how they see their parents act and react with others.  She instructs parents to “model for your children the behavior you want for them.” 

Although there were several interesting snippets throughout this book this reader did not feel it to be one of the better books on respect.  I would have liked to see more of Deborah’s personality, personal experiences and heart rather than a seemingly endless flow of so called professionals on this topic.  To me it seemed like a lot of speculation masquerading as scientific fact.  I would much rather hear pure heartfelt real life situations and circumstances in which the power of respect was exhibited in the author’s life. 

The book is a worthwhile read, but as far as books on respect go I would encourage readers to pick up a copy of “Love and Respect”.  Love is admiration and respect is consideration.  Love and respect really go hand and hand.  In regards to “The Power of Respect” I would have to say, “Great attempt, but something is missing.” 

Much of the advice in this book is common sense.  The author speaks of “The most forgotten element of success” without properly stating what it is to be successful.  The word in itself is void of value.  After all, my Beagle is very successful at being a dog.  What is success to one is rarely success to another.